A Source of Wisdom or Resentment?
Weekly Tip from the Love and Logic® Experts

Dear Insider Club Member,

My friend, Dr. Foster Cline, is a very wise man. His presentations offer one brilliant piece of advice after another. One of my favorites is, "Every childhood mistake handled well can become a learning experience. Every childhood mistake handled poorly can become the source of resentment."

Put yourself into this situation: You are a child who "borrowed" your dad's power screwdriver. You left it out in the driveway overnight, and now it's missing.

After finally getting up the nerve to admit this to your father, he replies, "Wow! I bet you feel pretty bad about that. I'm planning to do some repair work next weekend and I'm going to need that screwdriver back or I'm going to need a replacement. Let me know how you're going to solve that. Give me a hug."

How are you feeling at this moment? What are your feelings toward your dad? Are you mad at your dad or yourself? What kind of learning could take place?

Now suppose that Dad handles it this way instead and replies, "That was really stupid. What in the world were you thinking? How many times have I told you to leave my things alone? This is the kind of thing that really makes me mad. If you don't find the screwdriver, you're going to be grounded for two weeks, and I mean it!"

How are you feeling now? If this happens to be Dad's typical reaction, how many repetitions of these interactions need to take place before resentment builds? How much learning takes place when you see the other person as the source of your bad feelings?

You can hear many of Dr. Cline's wise words on the CD Allowing Kids to Choose Success. I like to keep his CDs in my car for both laughs and wisdom.

Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.

Jim Fay

©2011 Love and Logic Institute, Inc. All copyright infringement laws apply. Permission granted for forwarding and/or for a single photocopy or electronic reproduction of one email tip only. Please do not alter or modify. For more information, call the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. at 800-338-4065.

The Most Beautiful Gift: Never-Ending Love

I received the following wonderful message:

The Most Beautiful Gift: Never-Ending Love

Dear Insider Club Member,

Have you noticed how much effort some folks put into finding just the right Christmas gifts for their child? I bet you know someone who doesn't think twice about spending endless hours - or even days - scouring store shelves for that awesome action figure, digital doodad, or doll their child has been wanting.

Let's think about it. Is there anything wrong with this? What's the problem with spending lots of time and energy looking for neat and nifty Christmas gifts for our kids?

Nothing. But…

What happens when we exert more energy on finding these gifts than showing our youngsters what a gift they are to us?

Ouch! I've done this. Yes, I've fallen into this trap! I've worn-out myself trying to make things perfect that I've forgotten the most perfect gift of all: the expression of never-ending, unconditional love.

We're all wired to need it. All of us yearn for a relationship with someone who will love us forever, regardless of how stinky we behave. Isn't this the greatest gift we can give our loved ones? Isn't this what Christmas is really about?

During this Christmas season, my hope is that you'll…
spend more time playing with your kids than you spend shopping for them;
remember that the gift they really yearn for is you;
hug them and smile into their eyes as often as possible; and
show them through your never-ending love what a precious gift they are.
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible.

Dr. Charles Fay

©2010 Love and Logic Institute, Inc. All copyright infringement laws apply. Permission granted for photocopy reproduction and forwarding. Please do not alter or modify contents. For more information, call the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. at 800-338-4065.

Fish Oil Treats ADHD Better Than Ritalin

The drug companies wouldn't want you to know this, but this should be front page news. Every parent and educator should be aware of this:

Fish oil improves the symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) without any of the side effects of drugs like Ritalin and Concerta -- and more effectively, a study by the University of Adelaide in Australia found.

When 130 children between the ages of 7 and 12 with ADHD were given fish oil capsules daily, behavior dramatically improved within three months. Further:

• After seven months, the children were not as restless and showed improvements at school


• Improvements in concentration and attention improved by one-third


• After 15 weeks, 30-40 percent of the children taking fish oil had improvements


• After 30 weeks, 40-50 percent improved


• Children taking placebo capsules were later switched to fish oil and subsequently also experienced improved behavior

Improvements were still being seen after the study ended, which suggests the fish oils may have long-term effects. When the researchers compared their results to studies of Ritalin and Concerta for ADHD, they found that fish oils were more effective.

ADHD drugs are known to carry serious side effects, including insomnia, changes in personality, cardiotoxicity, heart attack, stroke and even sudden death. In the UK, nine children have died after taking the drugs.

The Daily Mail June 20, 2006

ABC News Online June 21, 2006

I earned my Masters Degree in Social Work from Eastern Michigan University in 1998. I enjoy working with adults, children, couples and families in a collaborative manner to help them achieve their unique therapeutic goals. I use the most relevant treatment options available for each client’s unique needs, such as cognitive-behavioral, solution-focused, psycho-educational, and play therapy. Specific areas of interest and expertise include depression, anxiety, survivors of sexual abuse, marital/family conflicts, women’s issues, grief and loss, infertility, postpartum issues, chronic illness (i.e. diabetes, hypothyroidism, fibromyalgia, food allergies), caretaker stress, parenting concerns, and childhood behavioral/emotional problems.